Sunday, October 24, 2010

I'm here... Really

I had a long week, but mostly productive. I got called to work and ended up working three days, not just one. Which, as it turned out, was fortuitous as my husband missed a day of work that would have included 8 hours of over time :(

Guess how much my three days of work would have put us ahead? About the same amount as we lost. So, that's the breaks. Does anyone know the story of how he ended up losing a day of work?? I'm going to tell it...

Part 1

Once upon a time, in a not so far off land, there lived a woman named Leona who had seen too many Disney movies. All those cute little mice who were so smart and loveable. She hated the thought of killing them but the time came where she had to. Life in the real world included mice that left nasty messes.

She struggled with the concept of having to kill these maurading mice even as they ransacked her yarn, but she asked her husband to please pick up traps. Well, the traps almost worked. Her and her family caught one mouse in over a week. A far cry from the more than twenty she was sure were living in her house. She had no idea why so many, but it didn't matter. She had a baby to protect.

Then she had a bright idea! Make a humane house trap. It worked. It looked lovely and the mice liked it. Yet, they were never caught. They sniffed it out, she saw them, but they never fell in.

Now these mice were not afraid of mere humans. In fact, they laughed at the humans. The mice stopped to watch the funny creatures play video games. Only running if you got too close to their space. Their space. Really. That's how they see it.

They ran across the living room, barely ducking behind objects. They ate whatever they wished whenever they wished. The only thing that seemed to stop them was Tupperware. Nothing else slowed these theives down.

Poor Leona. She despaired of ever getting rid of them. Hundreds of dollars of yarn, countless amount of food lost. Gone forever. Why was she stuck with so many?

One night, she sets out a box of butter to soften over night so she can make her husband cookies. Real butter. Not margarine. The next day, she found the butter box all the way across the kitchen, near the fridge with the sticks out and partially eaten. The mice had struck again!

Now she was furious. To Leona, it had become personal. The war was on. She started being diligent about chasing them out of her living area whenever she even thought she heard them. She found their holes and put traps in front so they had to go over the trap to get out. It worked!

Once. One mouse died.

After that, the mice set the trap off before coming out. How in the... Well she was getting manic about trying to trap the mice and get them out of her house. She moved her yarn into an empty room she had recently shampooed. The mice followed and more yarn was lost. Why were there so many mice in her house?

Then her mother in law, a loving woman who used to live in the very same house, pointed out the obvious.

"Honey, they cleaned up at the house behind you, didn't they? Burning all the brush and taking away all those old rusty cars and junk? Maybe that's where all the mice are coming from."

"Holy cow, of course," she replied. "I'm sure that's it. Fifty years of collecting junk and brush all of the sudden cleaned and burned probably sent all the wildlife in a tizzy. Explains the huge rush of spiders we had as well." She was frustrated. It was fine they figured out the why of the influx but she still had to chase them out.

"A cat! We shall get that cat my daughter has tried to give me. I'll have to talk my husband into it, but I'm so sick of the mice." A few days later, Nathan, her husband had agreed. Now she had to get ready for the cat. Buy food, litter, and make a place for it.

But work called and put a kind in their plans. Leona had to work. One night, after her shower, she dresses in her favorite night shirt--her John Deere Tractor shirt and shorts. While in the bathroom, she hears a trap go off in her room.

"Nate, what was that? Sounded like a trap."

"It was. I'm checking them now," he replied. A minute later he finds the trap. It has a mouse stuck by its foot and tail. He has no trouble killing the rodents, but knows of his wife's misgivings. He picks up the trap intending to let the mouse go outside. It bites him. He puts it in his other hand to look at bite and the mouse bites his other hand.

He yelled and threw the mouse. She came running out of the bathroom. "What happened?" she asked worriedly.

"The damn thing bit me," he said grumpily.

Leona couldn't help it. She choked on a laugh. "Oh, I'm sorry. You have to go to the hospital now." She was trying hard not to laugh. Really. He sounded so disgruntled though.

"What? Why?" He said surprised and not at all pleased.

"I don't know. Rabies or something. You got bit by a wild rodent."

"Are you sure?" He eyed her suspiciously as the laughter had leaked out on the last words.

"Yes, I'll look it up online." She hurriedly ducked her head behind the doorway before he saw the grin threatening to spill across her face.

"Just call the damn hospital. If they say I have to be seen, I will."

Part 2 coming tomorrow.

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