THAT story

You know? The one that I edited out my voice? Edited it so much so that one editor remarked that "your style of writing would be good for nonfiction"? THAT story? Well, I'd started a quick edit to put things back in. A couple of spots where it still hurt that I took stuff out. Added about 1800 words. Then you know what? I had to work on something else.

I finished my query workshop through CJ Redwine http://cjredwine.blogspot.com *you know, it's bad enough I can't do that fancy-schmancy hide a link under the words, but now, it won't even copy and paste the link! One of these days...* who is a fantastic and gifted query critiquer with a record number of only 3 tries. I don't remember the number from my first one. However, if you look back on my blog, you may find that I was so happy to have finally finished I may have dared to put it out there for all to see. Now, nope. Not happening.

So, with that query finished, waiting to hear back from queries, I went back to work on this one. However, before I actually opened up the file, I got word back on an art piece that I entered into forever nocturne's ezine. And you know what? They really liked it and said they had to find a story to match. So guess what? I wrote a short story to match. Now if only they like the story as much as the artwork! *bites nails*

So back to this wonderful fantasy and throwing back in those beautiful purple prose words that need to be there when you're world building. And guess what? I'll bet you can't guess. (Unless you follow me on twitter!) IT WAS GONE. AGAIN. Yep. It's happened before, despite this wonderful world of auto save and auto recover (a HUGE reason I still use Word, thank you.) I had lost it before.

During a woe is me pity party, a wonderful person @AuthoressAnon on twitter, asked if I'd sent it to anyone for critiqueing. Well, sort of I said. I sent a chapter at a time to a friend who then edited it and I, ehum, over fixed it, plus added a couple of scenes. That was gone. But then, this reminded me. Good little girl that I am, I had sent it to my husband as backup. The completed story with the edits. Yep. The day was saved. Well, that All happened again, except I kept the pity party short as I went straight to the back-ups to see if I'd sent in the corrections--and I did, of course. *Gulp*

So now, I'm putting in beautifully woven adjectives and description and when I went back through, you couldn't even tell. One more thing though. In all the rearranging I did (I moved a couple of scenes around in the beginning. mwah. Beautiful effect, I think.) I moved the description of the characters down a bit. I'll wait and see what the beta reader thinks. Then I'll worry. Now, it's there at the back of my mind as something that may come up.

Added another 1k last night. I'm jazzed. Rereading it myself and I can't hardly tell where the additions went. At least 2k words in the first 3.5 chapters and they seamlessly flow? *pats self on back* I am so relieved. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to add the necessary words without sounding stilted or contrived.

You know what else? This fantasy is what I wrote for last years NaNoWriMo. At the end of that month, it clocked in at 64k. Now it's 86+.

So for last NaNoWriMo, I wrote 64k on one book, and over 2k for another one. (I didn't clock the other one.) Talk about pressure on myself that I have to live up to. I'm thinking I may need to shoot for 70k That means, if I follow my own rule of taking 2 days off a week, I should aim at 4k a day. Definitely attainable if I put my mind to it. I had over 7k one day last year on this manuscript alone, plus some on the other. For the day I was around 8300 words. And I did hit 4-6 consistently.

So, do I have any writing buddies? Or people who want to egg me on, er, encourage me? And in case you missed it, my twitter handle is @L_Bushman now. Will be for my writing networking for ever and ever, amen. Well, maybe not that long :P

query of Awesomeness

Okay, I am not admitting to how many drafts this took, but after CJ's many patient (although she probably now has nightmares of my query!) comments and corrections, I got here:

Spectacular Agent/Writer’s Hopes Agency
555 Wishful Thinking
Port Fiction, PI 90009

4/10/2010

Dear Spectacular Agent of Writer’s Hopes,

Cerisa, trained as both mage and warrior, lives in exile with her family and best friend – a dragon named Lucifer. Her peaceful life is ripped apart when her father Jaren is murdered by Lord Kyle, the man who has claimed the throne of Riverhand in the name of the missing queen through bloodshed and terror. Cerisa’s plans for revenge, however, are stalled when her mother reveals two secrets that change the foundation of her life. One, her mother is the missing queen, and two, Lord Kyle is her father.
Stunned and shaken, Cerisa vows revenge, even though her strong emotion wreak havoc on her already chaotic magic. She still sets out with Lucifer to kill Lord Kyle, despite – or because of – the revelations of her mother.
After an attack that leaves her magically vulnerable, she meets Aron, her Dragonheart – a mate whose bonds strengthens the magical powers of their partners. When a simple broken wrist turns out to be infused with a dark curse, they realize that a powerful mage is helping Lord Kyle, defending him with a berserker to ensure the death of any who dare defy him. A berserker that has its sights set on Cerisa.
Lucifer and Aron help her see that in order to save herself and the rest of Riverhand, she has to turn her back on her own need for revenge as well as convince her mother to do her duty and claim the throne. Preferably before being killed by a berserker. The journey to Dublinum is full of deadly creatures and bandits. Can Cerisa get her mother there in time to save Riverhand from endless civil war?
The Quest for Riverhand is a fantasy, complete at 100,000 words. Thank you for your consideration.


Sincerely,
Leona Bushman

PS Formatting issues are a problem of internet, not actually how it is on document LOL

Query Workshop Original

Okay, folks. I took a workshop of awesomeness. I know, I know, I'm being redundant. But the workshop was awesome. http://queryworkshop.blogspot.com this is how you get there, be sure to mention me if you do it.

I'm posting the original here, with a sample comment. Then, I'll post the pretty one, LOL

Dear Spectacular Agent of Writer’s Hopes,
Cerisa sets out on a quest to kill the man who killed her father with her friend and dragon, Lucifer. When her mother reveals that she is the missing Queen, the whole land has been searching for and that the man, Lord Kyle, who has been pillaging and murdering in the name of the queen, is actually her father, she is torn between rage and the need to avenge the man she looked to as her father.
Cerisa is mage and a warrior. In order for all her powers to work at their greatest strength, she must have her heart and mind in alignment. She struggles with this as she wants to murder the man who murdered her father, and damn the consequences.

After an attack that leaves her magically vulnerable, she meets her Dragonheart, Aron. With the help of Lucifer and Aron, she convinces her mother to do her duty and claim the throne as she should have done years ago. They escort her on the perilous journey to the ruling of city of Dublinum.
They encounter both friends and foes as they race against time to beat Lord Kyle and his men to Dublinum and save not only their own lands, but Dragonland as well. They battle Lord Kyle and his men outside the Royal Court before Lord Kyle leaves with his men. The queen regains her throne and Cerisa becomes engaged to Aron, a Duke in Dragonland and saves the kingdoms of Riverhand and Dragonland. *******Suggest deleting this entire paragraph and instead giving us a one sentence statement or question delivering the stakes of the quest. i.e. "Can Carisa and her friends reach Dublinum in time to save the kingdom, or will the entire land be engulfed in war?" Or something along those lines. Feel free to use what works and toss the rest. :)


The Quest for Riverhand is a fantasy novel, complete at 100,000 words.

Sincerely,

Leona


******** Star is one of her many suggestions. Sometimes I felt like the V8 commercials (Duh, I could have had a V8)and other times like an old Calgon Commercial (Calgon, Take me AWAY) but mostly, I wanted chocolate and gin (but that was the fault of my fellow students. They kept talking about it!!)

I told my husband that I think I got the most out of my dollar compared to the rest of the class! LMAO I had to erase more than I wrote, but I didn't want to scare anyone off (or show you how bad it REALLY was if you don't know yourself :D)from taking her workshop.

So now that you've read LE Suck, read or re-read the shiny one :D

I'm so excited

**SQUEE I passed my queryworkshop!! Anyone looking to strengthen their query, from beginners to more advanced, should take this course. I'm going to ask her permission to post the first and final drafts and sample of her revision notes :) I'm sure I can post first and final as it's my query lol, but would like to give you some meat to entice you to the class. PS her twitter is @cjredwine and let her know @pizaseven or say leona bushman sent you PLEASE LOL

I used my fantasy that I'm currently bringing up to speed. It's the longest book, and I figured the hardest one, to put into a small 1 page (including the thank yous!) query. I was right. It took me four tries.

Script Frenzy day 14

I still haven't done my taxes GRR If I don't get my card today, I will have to do them tomorrow in a public place then go home and print them, then out to the post office!! What a pain in the -- er, ask your mother what it is... (line from play that openend last night!)

Working on so many things at once that I am driving hubby crazy. He wants me to get X done, but I want X done and we are both right, LOL I need to write like 10 hours a day is all! Maybe starting Thursday, I can manage for three days in a row to do this.

**Sigh** Maybe in between doing housework and taking hubby to work (at least he's working one day this week!) and taking care of 18 month old with Down Syndrome and **sigh** yeah, now we all know why ten hour days isn't feasible.

I'm working up to four! but that includes, research, networking and blogs so... Will end up at six eventually. Have to.

For script frenzy, I need to make up 35 pages or something unreal. I will do that, I swear. I am going to win it if I have to give up sleep all weekend. :D

I'm using it to help my novel that is the same basic story so I'm going back and forth, but both the script and the novel are better for the experience! It just takes time, is all. ALL??? Like I have a whole lot of that! :D

I'm really enjoying the query workshop and learning a lot! It was money well spent and I will use the lessons and explanations from everyone's work to help me with all future queries. I've sent my second draft off, so should hear back soon on the improvement (cross fingers) and the new problems I added by making the changes. LOL

Everyone have a good day and try to find what makes you happy.

script frenzy

So script frenzy is not going as well as NaNoWriMO did, but I have faith I will finish! I only have 7 pages (2 more than the first day!) but I have found my niche and will be able to go quickly when my workshop is over.

I'm taking a query workshop, which has been interesting since I lost my internet card.
But I'm managing. I will catch up quickly on script frenzy next week. I did those 2 pages in like 15 minutes. At that rate it will only take me 12 hours to finish LOL. One long writing day ought to do it :)

I have been working hard and writing my but off in mornings and still trying to pay attention to baby and rest of fam. It seems to be working, although I'm way too stressed and need to find a way to calm down.

Oh, guess what? Nate bought me the 2010 Writer's Market! I'm so excited. It's a major step for him in ackowleding my career choice and in showing support.

Well, back to writing and reading my internet stuff, and most important for today, getting my on-line homework finished!