Showing posts with label Query. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Query. Show all posts

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Blah

AS many of you know, my kids were very sick this week. It was a very rough week for me personally. I'm trying to focus on other things, but sometimes, that doesn't work. This week was one of those times. I did get some work done. But I'm not sure what is going on in the future. Not that anyone does, but my life feels very unsettled right now. I really need to paint but I'm out of Varnish. I have a special mix I use for my medium that is part varnish. Partly, I'm out of varnish because back when I got it to replace some when I was almost out, I got two bottles of varnish for acrylics. I paint with oils. That's not such a good idea.

My writing is going okay except for formatting issues! UGH I've priced down the full length novels while I fix these things. I got the print proof of Winds of Fire and almost cried. So many formatting issues. And I used their template. Instructions were copy and paste. Yeah right. I spent 8 hours fixing formatting, which I have to do again because it went wonky again when I tried to fix the other issue. and then guess what else? The template provided by Amazon doesn't put in page numbers!!! I want to scream and cry. And I don't like the cover. Maybe making my own, but they don't have the handy dandy template that's blank and let's you put stuff in anymore. At least not where I could find it.

These stories are good stories that I'm having fun with. Why does the rest of it have to be so hard? I know my work isn't perfect (if you see any errors not involved in formatting, please tell me!) but I want it as close to perfect as I can get it. I read a Harlequin romance recently that had bad errors in it and it reminded me that stuff gets missed even with experience and professionals. So I fix what I find and make it better. And I have no high-horse about people showing me errors. (not in style but in grammar. Style is personal choice.)

So, before I can really get going on my other books, I have that to do. And I got a provisional yes for a novel for a fantasy group off a synopsis and question and answering period. I HATE SYNOPSIS. I'm not big on queries either. And you know what? The person who was helping me, QUIT OFFERING WORKSHOPS. AHEM. LOOKS AT @CJREDWINE pointedly.

Not that I blame her. She has other work to kepe her busy, but I'm still not real happy about it. That last query I posted? Sounds interesting, but the book is hard, fast pace and slams you in the gut and I can't seem to get that into my query. I bet CJ could. She was so awesome and wonderful with that stuff. I'm still whining, I know. If she ever offers another query class, I'm going to sell my husband so I can afford it. Or something equally desperate :P

I haven't been posting samples of my writing lately because I was going to do it on my website. I have done some there, but I think I'm going to do some more...

How are my friends and followers today?

Friday, August 5, 2011

critique me query

I've written a book in first person and this is my query. Aside from the first person aspect, which I've heard is controversial, please critique this. It's *this close* to being ready to send out again after another round of changes :P These are the last until an editor says "change this or that" (except for grammar stuff. I'll always fix that if I find it lol) so help me out! Good and bad comments. ONly rule is make your comment constructive if it's negative. I'll take all the positive vibes you send though LOL

This is a zombie book, which will be obvious, and it's a thriller with no element of romance at all. If you got in your email, or read it on the back of a book, would you be interested in more?



I figured getting kidnapped by the FBI was pretty low on the list of things I wanted to do. It was right up there with meeting with terrorists groups and writing their side of the story. Why me? Turned out 'me' was a scapegoat for someone with some serious health issues. They'd contracted the zombie virus.

I was a zombie killer was killing them as quickly as I could. But I was only one woman. Again, why me? I was immune. You'd think being immune was great, but it wasn’t. Ever since the government purposely tried to infect me with the zombie virus, they had been watching me close to see if I turned.

The FBI wanted me to accomplish something big. Something big two thousand miles away from my home. When I arrived in El Paso, Texas after my long, strenuous drive from Washington, my contact agent, Joseph, wasn't available. Rude, right? I forgave him, this time. Being held by a zombie and tortured for two days was an excuse I accepted after saving his ass. Oh, tortured and not eaten had you surprised, didn't it? Don't be. They weren’t like the Hollywood types. At least not right away. First, they were super soldiers. They never got sick, their IQ tripled, and their sex appeal went off the charts. Trouble was, some of them develop a taste for meat—human meat—even before they’d died and officially turned zombie.

Problem with governments screwing around with our DNA was things never went as planned. When terrorists kidnapped my kids, all bets were off, even if Agent Joseph became one of the Infected. I hoped I could get to my kids and steal the antivirus without getting killed. Because if I couldn't, the whole world was going to have a really bad day.

Gal Friday Noir: Mayhem in Mexico is a paranormal thriller at 85,000 words. My preferred method of contact is email. Thank you for your time and consideration

Okay, after some personal emails, and the comment already here, I've revised some. Here's the new version. Whatcha think?


I'm a zombie killer at night, even have my favorite knife. But I'm only one woman. Ever since the government tried to infect me with the zombie virus, they've been watching to see if I turn. But I won't. I'm immune. You'd think being immune's great; it isn't.
Getting kidnapped by the FBI is pretty low on the list of things I want to do. It's right down there with meeting with terrorists groups and getting eaten by zombies. And if kidnapping's not enough, the FBI wants me to do something big for them two thousand miles away from home. I agree, but on my terms.
When I arrive in El Paso, Texas, my FBI contact, Agent Joseph, isn't available. Rude, right? I forgive him, this time. Being held by zombies and tortured for two days is an excuse I accepted after saving his ass and shooting one of them. But why'd they let him go so easily? We have to find out before the zombie virus spreads. And I have to teach Joseph the proper way to kill super zombies in short order.
Problem with governments screwing around with our DNA is things never go as planned. Their super soldiers turned terrorists kidnap my kids and all bets are off. We need to save my kids, steal the antivirus, all without getting killed. Because if we didn't, the whole world was going to have a really bad day.

Gal Friday Noir: Mayhem in Mexico is a zombie thriller at 85,000 words. I guest post for a fantasy site, Splintered Lands, and have had a horror short story in the online magazine, Forever Nocturne. Thank you for your time and consideration.



So what do you think? Also, looking for new title. This doesn't fit anymore :P Suggestions?