Monday, August 30, 2010

Back to School

My kids go back to school Wednesday. It's so late compared to the rest of the valley. A week later than almost everyone. Weird. Anyway, this past week has seen me grow a year older. Has wisdom come with that? We shall see. I'm having problems with my 19 year old daughter who seems to think she can be a disrespectful bully and then come and go as she pleases.

When I sent a box of things with grandma she was staying with a got a lot of cuss words with the obligatory, "I appreciate the gesture" thrown in so she can say she said it. But, when its interspersed with WTF and S*&&& and so on about how I'm just going to piss her off if I rush her in getting her stuff out, it loses it's impact of being grateful.

She left calling me names and being disrespectful. She walked out because she didn't want to stop her tantrum that I wasn't doing things her way. Fine, just not going to be here and act that way. So, rather than get herself under control, she hit things and screamed and walked out. (She has bipolar, and needs help. Alas, since she was over 18 before anyone took me seriously about it, I can do nothing about it.) She has since talked to me after disowning two of her brothers and me.

But it's been a falseness. A, "I'm the martyr because I'm still talking to you," attitude. When in reality, she should be asking for forgiveness. She also seems to think I have to leave her room the way it is until she decides to come get her stuff. Um, no. You left. I have stuff coming out of storage and a refriderator and freezer that I need to make room for.

Oh, but she has a plan. And I'm just going to piss her off if I try to rush her. Those were her exact words. Why does she think it matters to me? Nearly all of our fights are becasue I don't bow down to her bullying me to do something the way she wants me to or let her do something the way she wants. I realized last week that was exactly what she was doing--being a bully. Sigh. It's hard having a child with bipolar.

The good news is that since she's left, the level of stress in my household has dropped exponetionally. Now, instead of boys constantly fighting each other and me, I have "normal levels" of grumpy and "I don't want to" when faced with boredom or chores.

They are saying please again, excuse me, etc. I was able to take a nap with no yelling and fighting (something I haven't been able to do all summer). I hadn't realized how much violence was bred into her bipolar problem.

School is almost ready to start. I can't wait. Writing time. I hope. LOL We are the most ready for school than we've been in five years :) I haven't got new backpacks because they were on sale for 18. I have a first grader and fourth grader who drop their packs and run to the nearest playground. NOT spending 20 bucks on their book bags. I also have to buy a ruler cuz I stepped on the only 12 inch ruler we have and it broke. Big surprise there.

Although, I didn't buy ALL their supplies. I refuse. Four big boxes of Kleenex AND four boxes of wipes???? My child wouldn't use that in a year at home. Hello. So, I'm sending two boxes of each. One for my child, one for someone who can't afford it. I can always send more after Christmas.

The other extravagance that I see is the dry erase markers. 5?? really? of the same color??? Yeah, I don't think so. Plus, I know my child. Having five will cause him to lose more and not keep track of the one he's using. I'm sending two. Again, I can send more later if the marker is actually for his use. (They don't ask for a board, just the markers and erasers??? Maybe school has boards??) Anyway, except for a few refusals on my part, and binders that I'm getting next weekend when I see how many my teenager needs, we're ready. I love it.

Feels so good to be ready. Now that the bulk of canning is done, just need to do a bit more toms, pears and apples, I'm going to have more free time. I'm going to use some of that time posting pics here and on my friends crochet blog. Plus my writing. I'm so excited. I will have time to myself. And, with my husbands new work schedule, time with him :) Yeah US!

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