Okay, I am not admitting to how many drafts this took, but after CJ's many patient (although she probably now has nightmares of my query!) comments and corrections, I got here:
Spectacular Agent/Writer’s Hopes Agency
555 Wishful Thinking
Port Fiction, PI 90009
4/10/2010
Dear Spectacular Agent of Writer’s Hopes,
Cerisa, trained as both mage and warrior, lives in exile with her family and best friend – a dragon named Lucifer. Her peaceful life is ripped apart when her father Jaren is murdered by Lord Kyle, the man who has claimed the throne of Riverhand in the name of the missing queen through bloodshed and terror. Cerisa’s plans for revenge, however, are stalled when her mother reveals two secrets that change the foundation of her life. One, her mother is the missing queen, and two, Lord Kyle is her father.
Stunned and shaken, Cerisa vows revenge, even though her strong emotion wreak havoc on her already chaotic magic. She still sets out with Lucifer to kill Lord Kyle, despite – or because of – the revelations of her mother.
After an attack that leaves her magically vulnerable, she meets Aron, her Dragonheart – a mate whose bonds strengthens the magical powers of their partners. When a simple broken wrist turns out to be infused with a dark curse, they realize that a powerful mage is helping Lord Kyle, defending him with a berserker to ensure the death of any who dare defy him. A berserker that has its sights set on Cerisa.
Lucifer and Aron help her see that in order to save herself and the rest of Riverhand, she has to turn her back on her own need for revenge as well as convince her mother to do her duty and claim the throne. Preferably before being killed by a berserker. The journey to Dublinum is full of deadly creatures and bandits. Can Cerisa get her mother there in time to save Riverhand from endless civil war?
The Quest for Riverhand is a fantasy, complete at 100,000 words. Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Leona Bushman
PS Formatting issues are a problem of internet, not actually how it is on document LOL
This really is a Query of Awesomeness now. :) Very proud of you!
ReplyDeleteAll thanks to you.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if you can understand how painfully frustrating query writing has been for me. I've had manuscripts ALMOST finished for months but didn't finish because that would mean writing a query.
I really want a Critique Partner, could live without one. But I HAVE TO HAVE A QUERY. Thank you :)