I've doubted my ability as a writer. Seriously, all my other doubts boileddown to time. Do I have time to become the writer I know I need to be. But today, I had the thought that I was trying for no reason. I don't have many sales, I'm not getting positive responses from queries I send out and it's so hard now. Twice as hard with a day job, twice as hard with sick kids, and I've had both the last two weeks. which makes it all about ten times as hard. (trust me the math's right, even if it doesn't look like it on paper :) It's taken me most of the day to shut myself up and the whispers are still coming.
So, I'm posting an excerpt from Winds of Fire: Eagle Claw Series here, and the links. If you like it, please buy the book. If you like Harlequin's Blaze line, you'll probably like this as I'd originally intended it for them, but even after cutting scenes (which I now regret) I'm still 250 words over their max, so I toughened it up, (It's now a thriller with strong romantic elements instead of a romance w/ strong thriller elements. Wasn't on purpose, just happened as the scenes were cut!) and slam, bam, there it is! Here's the excerpt.
Victoria's fiance has taken off with her files and sold them to the highest bidder. She's in the process of a sting operation to buy them back in the midst of clearing her name of treason. We start with the two men she who have the stolen files:
The two men finally looked at each other and nodded and walked to the plank that went to the dock. They looked around uneasily as if expecting something. Her adrenalin kicked in and she went to high alert. Now was when something was supposed to happen. She could smell the fear wafting off the men as they approached her.
She did the swap as quickly as possible and instinctively dropped to the ground. Erica followed and a split second later, popping noise accompanied the men in front of her dropping. She had a frozen moment in time to decide whether to play dead or roll away. She chose to roll away and the wood splintered where she had dropped.
Erica was already up on her feet and squatting behind one of the pier's piles. Victoria grabbed both the money and the file cases and joined her. She pulled her Glock out and they waited for more shots. The silence droned on for a few seconds.
"Victoria, Erica. Come out, come out wherever you are," Kurt's voice rang through the still night air. Both women cursed under their breaths.
"I should have known you would be here, Kurt," Victoria replied. Neither woman moved.
"Of course. I had to draw you out somehow. You proved to be too good, even for the top brass. It is really too bad. If you were not so provincial, we could have ruled the world together. I'm going to send someone over to your position. Give them the cash and the files."
Victoria laughed coldly. "Yeah, right. You know I'll shoot the traitorous bastard that actually thinks I'll hand over sensitive files to them. You must hate this person. Despite your cavalier attitude, this isn't a game."
"Well, I'd hoped to test my men's loyalty. But, since you put it so bluntly, I'm afraid I'll have to save the test for another day. I didn't actually need those files. I simply wanted some ready cash as I was losing my army pension." His voice was suave. He could've been flirting with a debutante. It grated on Victoria's last nerve.
"So that's all the security of your country is worth to you? A few bucks? You make me sick," she retorted.
"Oh look. Now you've gone and hurt my feelings. I don't think I'll play anymore tonight. As much fun as this is, I want to be gone before your boyfriends get back from the goose chase I sent them on. I'm sure they realized it by now as neither the Colonel or the Captain are fools. I do regret the body I had to leave for them. Good help is hard to come by these days."
And there's your free piece of the book :D A reminder note, both kindle and smashwords let you read a bit for free, and I have allowed lending so you can share with your friends :D
And while writing this post I was told in no uncertain terms, by the main beta reader of this book, that I don't get to quit being a writer because she's hooked. I shall hold her words close to my heart whenever the whispers get too loud. For now, I'm off to do more housewife crap (although I now have a job :P) and finish up the spaghetti sauce, which my family only likes when I doctor it up to the hilt or make it from scratch. :D
Awe...sorry you're having a tough time. I know the feeling. I have 4 girls and a busy life that can really make "getting in the zone" to write a difficult thing. And...some days I can write all day and look down at my words and think they're crap. The thing is that they are just words. And if you love writing you should do it. I always remind myself that A)I LOVE WRITING and B) I can always improve. So I try to learn SOMETHING about writing every day. It helps, because not only does my writing get better, but the self-doubt fades because I know I'm acquiring the tools that will help me craft a great book. Best of luck! Don't give up :)
ReplyDeleteOH god, FOUR girls??? I have one girl and four boys :D Quite enough girls, thank you!!
ReplyDeleteYou're exactly right about the writing, and that is how I usually go. I read blogs to larn, I read books to learn, I'm constantly learning. This is the first time I've doubted all that. I don't know exactly what happened. But I've fought back and thank you!