Life isn't what we want

I want to be doing more blogging like I used to. I had to quit for a lot of reasons. But one big thing, I felt like I had so much bad happening, and how is that helpful to anyone? Well, it's helpful to me to have the outlet. And there may be others who are struggling to be writer/artist, parent, wife, etc. While working other jobs.

So, while I will do my best to share happy things (good books are happy!), I'm also going to be doing as I did before and trying to talk about things. Maybe it will help somebody. Maybe it will help nobody. I don't know.

Alert: Depressing downer and very personal :(

Right now, I feel as if something I've been a part of for 15 years is slipping through my fingers. As all the love, loyalty, and time I've put in counts for nothing. As soon as someone else is around, I become less than nothing. It may not be true, but it is how I feel.

I may have just lost an opportunity at something great and wonderful. I planned to ask for a gift back (on a sort of permanent loan), as a FAVOR, and to beg, to get a chance at something that could have taken me and my family to something greater than before, and at least, something better than the poverty we've been living. For four years, I've been living somewhere that the doctor has said will kill me. It nearly did last year. It came very, very close last year. We are finally moving. Perhaps the stress of moving and being unable to find something suitable (as in, they'll let us live there and we can afford it!) has aggravated all emotions. Perhaps, my desperation to get out of here has made the idea of being so close to the climb out and missing, more depressing. I've been called dishonorable for even thinking that it was okay to ask. (hadn't even gotten to the asking part!) I guess, I'll have to agree to disagree. I would have been begging a favor for a chance out of here. (With intention of giving it back at some point.) If I'd been less generous and kept my favorite and best one to myself instead of giving it away, wouldn't be having this problem anyway.

Now, I'm not trying to convince anyone. I've already told the person offering the chance that I've been refused, so nothing I say or do is going to matter about it. But what it did was something nothing else has done in years. It may have broke me. It definitely broke my marriage. Whether it can be repaired, well, that remains to be seen.

I've been fighting depression--for years. I am happy by nature, and the depression fighting me is debilitating and hard to overcome. I feel inadequate. I'm apparently not enough for anyone. I'm sick all the time. The years of being sick has screwed up my credit. I feel like years of being nice, loving people, helping them, etc. has only garnered me a few moments of smiles. I'm beat down, broken, inside and out. I can't even always go get my meds, which takes away my mind/intelligence, and health. Circles of hell? I  live them. My kids are the only thing I have, and they'll only be here so long (as it should be). I don't have my health, I don't have my mind, I have very little personal possessions. Most of my clothes don't fit. Most of my books have been ruined/lost with all the moves. Things I've had for most of my life are getting ruined/gone.

And my kids and I still have nowhere to go, to live. I'm feeling pretty down. Part of me, is well, you're writing and editing. It'll happen. Not enough. Not soon enough. Unless some miracle happens, not soon enough. I have no choices, no way out. I've struggled and struggled through the illnesses, through my husband's bipolar, off his meds as much as on them. Usually off them. I think he only got his meds 6 times last year. Maybe Seven as the last time was at end of December. His meds are free through Indian Health Clinic. I picked them up as often as he did. The prior years, I'd had to be the one to pick them up because he'd refuse. I guess that's something. He's improved on how often he gets his own meds without fighting about it. I have, as I've become sicker and sicker, forced him to do more and more of the home responsibilities. But he still doesn't help much with housework. It is what it is. Until it's not.

I am broke. It's a crack within my soul. A deep crack. Question is, will it heal before I fall apart? Before I lose my family? Before I die? Stress, environment, asthma, lack of thyroid, all conspire against me. What will win?


If I have my way, it'll be the writing and the painting. But life isn't what we want.

Raven McAllan Miss Simpkins' School: Miss Flora

Hi all!! *Waves Madly* I'm so so so sorry! I missed posting this at the release time, but now, she gets to be the very first in my new blog feature, Succulent Saturday Stories! Whether looking for a quick read, or something more, you'll find new stories here every week!

Hot writer, and a regency favorite, Raven McAllan brings us a whole new series to love. Take it away Raven!

Sometimes an idea jumps up and metaphorically bites you in the bum. Sometimes it creeps up and taps you on the shoulder. And then again (note, the editor in Leona will be cringing at all these 'sometimes', oh how I love to torture her), sometimes it does both.

With Miss Simpkins' story it was most definitely both.

I don't know if you're like me but sometimes, (sorry couldn't resist it) a minor character catches your attention, and you think "oh I wonder what happened to her?" That's how it was with Molly Simpkins. She was a very minor, but a pivotal, (you know I've wanted to use that word for years) character in one of my earliest books, A Most Unusual Mistress. Without her, there would have been no book, but we only met her very briefly.  Ever since then, I found myself wondering what she got up to.

Well, now I know. She opened a 'school'. Where Seduction's the game, and success is the aim. Flora ia her first student.

Ex mistress to an Earl, who better than Molly Simpkins to show Flora how to ensure she gets what she needs from her marriage?

Flora's intended has idea she doesn't agree with. Angus thinks she should be happy to live at their Scottish estate whilst he spends his time in London.

It may be the way of the ton, but it isn't going to be Flora's way. This is her chance to show Angus what he'd miss if he leaves her alone. There's only one thing, she doesn't know how.

Luckily Miss Simpkins does.

 

Here's a wee taste…

 

“Ah, so good. Fraser. I need to know.”

“Know what? Tell me, Flora, show me what you want.” His finger moved in her, and yet more stings and tingles enveloped her. She began to lose the ability to speak, let alone think. What had he asked?

“What? Ah, everything, I have to experience everything.” Her tongue seemed to have developed a mind of its own, and she had trouble forming her words.

He moved so fast she didn’t have time to look and admire his body as he pulled the banyan over his head and stretched out on his back next to her.

“Then take what you need.” He spread his hands out wide.

What? He expects me to touch him? How, I wonder? She decided that perhaps to mimic some of his actions would be acceptable. But she was naked, and so was he, what if? Stop thinking and just do something. Before she had a chance to change her mind, Flora scrambled onto her knees and knelt by his side. As she dipped her head her hair brushed his chest and he groaned. She pulled back in alarm, but he grabbed her arm.

“Oh no, don’t stop. I’m interested, very interested to see what happens next.” He rubbed her arms in a soft soothing manner. “That gentle caress had to be the prelude to so much more. Touch me, as you like to be touched.” He guided her hand to his chest. “I promise you won’t give me pain—not in a bad way.”

Emboldened by his words and actions, Flora circled the dark male areolae one by one, and pinched his nipples in much the same way he had done to her. His eyes deepened in color as the nubs hardened under her touch.

“More.” Just one word, designed to make her feel empowered. She bent her head again and laved the area with her tongue before taking one nub into her mouth and grazing it with her teeth. It was his turn to gasp.

“Heaven.”

She had to agree with him. Each touch she gave him made her ever more excited, and her juices increased, to coat her thighs. She shifted her body, and he grasped her waist to hold her closer, until she was half on top of him. Something hard pressed against her side. She did a mental inventory of where she was and realized his cock was rubbing her.

“I think my pego is ready for you, my dear. Eager and in dire need of attention.”

Flora took a swift glance downward and then looked back up to his face. He was correct. She wasn’t sure she was ready to take his prick in hand yet. In the moonlight, Fraser’s eyes glittered and the smile he gave her was one of encouragement. “Don’t give up now, my love. Finish what you’ve started.”

That was the problem, what had she started? “I don’t know how,” she said. “Will you show me?”

“For someone who doesn’t know how, you have a gift be- yond price,” Fraser answered her, his voice deep and smooth, like liquid chocolate. “My body is oh so ready to fuck. I would very much like to feel you around me, to feel my cock deep inside you, and bring us both to climax. However, there are a couple of things that need clarifying first.”

There was? Flora wasn’t sure she liked the sound of that. The deep grey eyes now had a hint of steel in them, and his mouth had firmed. How he could turn from lazy-eyed lover to this implacable dominant male she wasn’t sure. She pulled back to kneel on her knees and Fraser didn’t stop her.

“I also wish to understand something.” She did her best to sound in control of herself, and not a quivering mass of need.

“Like what?”

She guessed the loud thumping she could hear was her heart as she decided how to reply. “Why do you want to marry me? Why me and not any other acceptable female? What makes you think I’m the right person for you? To bear your children, continue the line, and to do all your countess should.” Would he answer her? If he did, would it be what she wanted to hear?

The silence lasted for all of the count of thirty noisy heart- beats. Flora began to worry. Had she done everything wrong? She began to edge backward. He shot out his hand and caught her un- aware and she toppled forward onto his hard body once more. His cock wedged between them and tickled her quim. Then he smiled slowly as he rolled her under him, and looked down on her as he rested on his elbows. The scant inch between them heightened her arousal, until her body was a mass of tiny pin pricks and ripples.

“Because I only want you, have only wanted you since you so prettily asked me to marry you all those years ago. Hell, I’ve waited with as much patience as I could muster. So many years as I watched and hoped no other would catch your eye. The older you grew, the prettier you became, the harder it was for me to stand back and wait. But I promised John I would let you grow without preconceived ideas of your future. No longer, let me show you.” He knelt up, and grasped her ankles.

Her legs were parted as he placed one foot on each of his shoulders. Flora watched wide-eyed, her throat tight, and her mouth dry as he took hold of his cock and stroked it slowly from glistening tip to hard balls. She bit her lip. His prick was so big, its purple head slick with his juice, and the veins along its length stood out and beckoned to her.

“Are you ready?”

*****

you can buy Flora here…

http://www.breathlesspress.com/index.php?main_page=product_free_shipping_info&cPath=17&products_id=508

 

http://www.amazon.com/Miss-Simpkins-School-Flora-Seduction-ebook/dp/B00GUAUJ1Y/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1385111640&sr=1-3&keywords=raven+mcallan

 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Miss-Simpkins-School-Flora-Seduction-ebook/dp/B00GUAUJ1Y/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1385111640&sr=1-3&keywords=raven+mcallan

 

http://www.bookstrand.com/miss-simpkins-school-flora

 

https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-misssimpkinsschoolflora-1352197-340.html

 

And check out Raven at www.ravenmcallan.com

Happy Reading,

Love R x

 

 

Amy Lignor, The Heroe's Companion

 

 

 

 

Tallent & Lowery - The Perfect Couple

 

I love romance. I am always looking for the perfect couple whenever I pick up a book in any genre. Finding the perfect balance between personalities is something that truly makes a book memorable in my eyes.

 

One of my biggest and most important goals when it came to creating Leah Tallent and Gareth Lowery was to make them unique. Their banter, their wit, their hearts and what they believe in, their families and career choices - I wanted all of these factions to meld extremely well. And I wanted to make sure that  between all the thrill rides, chases and puzzle solving, their relationship continued to grow and shock readers with new revelations in every book.

 

With 13, Leah Tallent came into mind in an instant; it helps that her brain operates the same as mine. She has the job I would kill for. I’ve said in many blogs that I would beg the NYPL to let me live in their basement. That building, all those books, Patience and Fortitude outside on the steps - that is the perfect location for me. Leah doesn’t live in the basement, of course. She’s the Head of Research and has such a passion for that library she even spends Sunday mornings there reading and drinking coffee from a coffee pot that had to have served King Arthur at one time…it’s that old. She enjoys the ‘smell’ of the books, and that’s what I call paradise.

 

Leah is also ‘fun’ sarcastic (as opposed to mean). On the first page, readers find that out as she stands outside the library with a teenage tour group who roll their eyes and stick their gum on the regal back of Fortitude. Leah tells the absolute truth. She’s an honest woman, sometimes brutally and always funny. (And when you meet her family in The Sapphire Storm, you end up laughing because you finally see exactly why she is how she is).

 

When she meets Gareth, who has the nerve to be in her library one Sunday morning ruining the cornerstone of the historical building to retrieve a book that was placed there by Andrew Carnegie back in 1901, Leah basically wants to call the cops and have the stranger carted off to prison. But even though she’s set in her ways, Leah has the ability to bend. When Gareth begins speaking about why he’s there, and the huge puzzle he’s trying to solve - the librarian comes back full force and her love of research takes over.

 

The friendship between them opens the doors for them to lean on one another, and the love and passion that forms effects them both in their own individual ways. But when Tallent & Lowery succeed, readers will be thrilled for them and, hopefully, pick up ‘The Sapphire Storm’ just to see what the duo will have to face the next time around.

 

With ‘The Hero’s Companion’, Leah & Gareth get involved in their most personal puzzle yet. And fans will be amazed by the twists and turns in their relationship as more ‘secret’ doors from both their pasts begin to open.

 

They are alluring and addictive to me, to fans, and to each other. And that’s what makes Tallent & Lowery the perfect couple.

 

Until Next Time, Everybody,

Amy

Jorja Lovett, Ground Floor: Toys & Games

 

 

 

Jorja Lovett

 

Unfortunately, there aren't many old fashioned department stores left anymore. Those ancient buildings full of character and history have been replaced by high street clones. It's a shame. I always found something magical stepping inside those art deco doors, romantic even. Who wouldn't want to be swept off their feet in such an intense atmosphere?

 

My mum used to work in a toy wholesaler with quite a similar feel to a department store. There were many levels, only reachable by a rickety elevator. It was dark and spooky to an eight year old, but to an erotic writer it's the perfect place to conduct a hot affair. My first paid job was in a toy shop, and by chance, so was my last one. So, the toy department was uppermost in my mind when I began this series. Although some of the toys involved aren't exactly PG friendly!

 

Each floor of my series will be a stand-alone story with its own theme. I'm currently writing about the cougar on the cosmetics counter and I can't wait to get started on the Leather Goods department

 

Happy New Year to everyone. Let's start it with a bang…

 

 

 

Blurb

 

Jen is the new girl in the toy store but it's not long before the boss' son Jamie teaches her how to play.

Recently bereaved, Jen White hopes her new job in the toy shop at Kelsey's Department Store is a fresh start. One ripped pair of stockings later, she catches the eye of the boss' son, Jamie. She's not looking to replace her partner but he soon makes her realise she doesn't want to spend the rest of her life celibate. And die a virgin.

Jamie Kelsey's a screw up. Well his father still thinks so, even after he's tried to make amends for losing the family's fortune. The store's in trouble but with his father still stuck in the dark ages and refusing his help, he's worried it's too late. With a little help from their newest employee, he starts to make his mark on the store. He's sworn off women to concentrate on his career but when Jen comes to him looking to further her sexual education, it's an offer he can't refuse.

 

Excerpt

 

“Where are you taking me?” Jen pulled on her coat over her uniform. She wasn’t sure where Jamie usually dined but she was certain she wasn’t dressed for the occasion.

“Okay, I lied. We’re not going out to lunch. I hope you’re not too hungry.” He grabbed her hand and whisked her out onto the streets of the city centre.

Jen’s stomach rumbled in defiance, but in this instance she’d rather sate her curiosity than her appetite. “I can wait, but what’s so important?”

“Something you said got me thinking. There’s only so much I can teach you. Some things, well, you’ll just have to discover for yourself. I’m taking you to Gresham Street.”

“Gresham Street? Where all the sex shops are?” Her voice dropped to an embarrassed whisper as they moved through the throng of shoppers and tourists towards the seedier end of town.

“Yeah. You’re under no obligation to wear a long mac and sunglasses, I just thought you might like to have a look around.”

The closer they got to the gaudy shop windows, the more she felt like a young innocent being led into a den of vice. She was so out of her depth.

The door chimed as they walked in, but the inside of the premises was more inviting than the closed shutters and neon lights outside suggested. She’d expected some dark, dingy backstreet dive crawling with furtive middle aged men. Instead, she found a normal shop whose customers were ordinary young couples and groups of girls having a giggle.

“See? You didn’t set off their newbie alarm after all.” Jamie grinned, and taking her by the hand, led her over to the mannequins modelling their range of sexy lingerie.

“I wouldn’t mind splashing out on some new underwear.” The pretty, flowery sets she wore no longer reflected her mood. She wanted something bold, something daring to show off to her lover.

“I wouldn’t mind splashing out on these.” Jamie held up a pair of crotchless black panties.

“They’re not very practical.” Jen ignored the innuendo to search through the rails of lace and silk.

“Oh, I don’t know. I think I would find them very handy.” He twanged the black string underwear but she didn’t bite.

“What about these? Which one do you prefer?” She picked out a red lace plunge bra and a padded leopard print one, holding each one to her chest in turn.

“I like them both.” Jamie snatched them off her and stuffed them into her basket along with the matching thongs. She was on the right track at least.

They moved on past the rainbow of coloured dildos and strap-ons. One penis at a time was plenty for her. She paused at the bondage and fetish section and cocked her head at some of the oddly shaped black rubber, wondering which orifice they were intended for.

“I think that’s a bit far out for even me.” Jamie zipped the mouth closed on a gimp mask and walked away.

“What about embracing your inner Dom?” Jen flicked the end of a leather flogger at his backside.

“I might be an arsehole but I like my bed partners to know their own mind. Besides, something tells me you wouldn’t make the perfect submissive either.” He grabbed the leather strands and yanked her towards him for a kiss.

“But that means you get to spank me for misbehaving,” she said with a twinkle in her eye.

“Okay, we’ll take it.” He tossed it in the basket. “Along with one of these.” And added a double sided paddle to the purchases.

She bypassed the nipple clamps, quite happy for Jamie to do her tweaking for her, and hovered by the display of tubes and lubes.

“Mint or strawberry?” They both promised extra pleasure.

Jamie arched an eyebrow at her.

“I know, I know. Both. This is adding up to one expensive lunch break, Mr Kelsey.” Fun didn’t come cheap. Well, the experimental kind at least.

“If I can’t spend my cash on sex toys and lube what can I spend it on?” 

 

 

Buy Now from TotallyBound

Available 3^rd January from Amazon and All Romance

Author Bio:

Jorja Lovett is a British author with both Irish and Scottish roots, which makes for a very dry sense of humour. Writing since she was old enough to wield a pen, it wasn't until she joined her crit group, UCW, that she pursued her passion seriously.

Now, with Joe Manganiello as her permanent muse, if she can leave the pause button on her Magic Mike dvd long enough, she hopes to spend the rest of her days writing steamy romances.

 

Author Links: Facebook, Twitter, Blog, Website

 

 

Ravaged, Vol 2

Guess what? I have another shifter story out today :D

Well, I and a few other authors. Ravaged, Vol 2 is happily out today (the 3rd in case this goes out a little early)! I along with my fellow writers wrote about things that shift...into what, well, you'll have to read to find them all out. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as the editor enjoyed torturing pushing us.

I had this fancy schmancy blog post planned, but forgot what I wanted to say. So, here it is. Plain as toast. But I do have something fancy, a cover!

Witchy Wolf, is my contribution. Did you know that Stonehenge isn't the only circle of stones to be made in Briton? I did this research a while back. Right now, I have Maya on the mind right now. HOURS of research, for a less than 10k word story. And do you know how much I used? *This* much. But you know what, it's there in the back of my mind as I write.

Writing is like that. With few exceptions, writers who are published have done their research. Hell, most of the time, editors do research as well. Although, I will admit to saying (when I'm the editor) to said authors, I have no knowledge of this (like, I don't know, Italian!), so please triple check your facts (or like, the syntax, verb agreement, spelling, accents :P). Otherwise, you would not believe the research that happens. The internet has been a godsend in more than one way!

Now, put on some mood music, fire up the candles, turn down the lights, perhaps slip into something comfortable, and get ready for a hot read that will set you ablaze.

Oh, and one more thing before deciding on your favorite scented candles...A give away!!! Comment, tweet, what have you, see how you can enter to win a lot of fun things to keep you warm this winter! Or to sit by the lake and read if you're down under. Somewhere you can jump into cool water to bring your body temp down to human :)

Enter here: a Rafflecopter giveaway





For a list of each days blogs, go here :D Good Luck :D